Your top dating questions, answered

When you’ve created as much content as I have (750+), you’re bound to get people finding your blog through some, let’s say, interesting searches. I love to look at these search terms because it gives me insight into my readers. With that said, sometimes I can’t dedicate one whole post to just one of your searches, so in the interest of time, and giving the people what they want, here are your top dating questions (according to your search terms over the last month or so), answered.

One quick note,  I wanted to leave the pronouns of the searches as is. When people did or did chose to specify or not specify gender says a lot about what people wonder about, depending on who they date. My answers are gender neutral, as per the usual.

How to respond to rejection over text

If you feel like responding at all? Well, you can just say “thanks for letting me know” and that would be the end of that. Honestly, I’m of the mind that what you say post rejection doesn’t matter, as long as you’re not being needlessly cruel. If someone had the decency to tell you they aren’t interested in seeing you any longer, feel free to reach out to them to thank them for that decency. If they were a dick about it by rejecting you but also insulting you, respond in kind if you feel so inclined.

How to tell a girl you’re seeing someone else

Maybe it’s best to not tell them the real reason you’re ending things at all? Look, I’m all for honesty in relationships, but unless you’re confessing to some impropriety on your part, what’s the point of telling someone who you’re ending things because you’re into someone else? To me, it just seems like too much information, but I’m not someone who looks for deeper meaning when I’m rejected. That said, if you insist upon being wholly and completely honest about why you don’t want to keep seeing someone, try to be as short and sweet with your message as possible. Keep in mind that once you provide a concrete reason for ending something, especially if that reason is another person, you are then obligated to a certain extent to provide more information.

How frequently should you date

As frequently as your sanity and means permit. If you can afford to go on dates everyday, whatever “afford” means to you, go for it. How frequently you should date new people should be based solely on your capacity (free time and funds) and your desire to do so. As for how often you should go on dates with someone, that depends on your capacity to do so, your desire to do so, and where you are in dating. Once a week is cool early on if time, money, and desire permits. Generally the longer you’re seeing someone, the more you see them during a week, but again, time, money, desire.

She isn’t replying to my texts but likes on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat

Okay, technically, this was three separate search terms, but the answer to the question (Why would they do this?) remains the same. People are programmed to like social media shares. Most people like things that show up in their feed as a matter of habit, not discernment. When your friends/family/acquaintances share something, you like it 9 times out of 10, regardless of the quality of what was shared. If someone is liking your social media shares, but not responding to your texts, they’re showing you how much effort they’re willing to put in to reach out to you. If likes/views/hearts are the only “sign” you have that someone is interested in you, but they wont respond to your texts, they’re not all that interested.

How to introduce your boyfriend to your friends

An always tricky thing to do, so here’s some tips.

Give both your partner, and the people meeting your partner some basic information about each other for context. If there is anything you need to warn either person about the other, do so beforehand. Touchy subjects they shouldn’t bring up, personality quirks, things like that. If you can, try to introduce them in a low stakes setting and low pressure setting where both parties are likely to feel comfortable. Sometimes that isn’t a possibility, so just try to not force anything. Don’t force conversation, don’t try to make your friends and your partner instant besties. Just let things flow. Not everyone is going to love your partner, so just shoot for a pleasant introduction and hope for the best.

How can I know if his ex wants him back

Their ex probably does want them back, because they’re a catch. But that doesn’t really matter. What matters is their desire to get back with their ex. They probably don’t want to get back with them, but it’s a possibility. Maybe not a highly probable one, but anything is possible. I’m wary of anyone who hangs out with their ex, especially if it was a serious ex, but the substance of their communication (if it’s still ongoing) and how recently they broke up, is the key here. If they’re on friendly terms but never see each other, it doesn’t matter what their ex wants. If they’re in constant contact, that’s a bad sign. Even more so if they’re a recent ex, with some unresolved issues.

Girl that rejected me is not talking/how to talk to a girl who rejected me

If someone rejected you, and they’re not talking to you now, take a hint. Move on. If someone rejected you, but wants to remain on friendly terms, and you’re just not sure how to communicate with them, treat them the way you would any other friend. Don’t bring up the fact that they rejected you, like, ever. What’s the point? The past is past. Bringing it up isn’t going to change it. Oh and if you’re thinking that you’ll get rejected, befriend them as a strategy to make them fall for you, and then date them, please don’t. If this is your motive for befriending someone, you’re better off just not doing this. For starters, it’s shitty to befriend anyone with an ulterior motive. It’s possible that something romantic could develop, but if that’s your only goal, it’s not only a shitty and dishonest thing to do, it’ll only lead to you eventually growing to resent them.


And there you have it. Of course, if this post didn’t answer your burning questions, you can always hit me up on Twitter @DemetriusSays, or email at taoofindifference@gmail.com.

Good Luck Out There.


Also published on Medium.

Demetrius Figueroa

Demetrius is a sex, dating, and relationship writer based in Brooklyn.

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