I suck at trying to date. Any tips?

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Blood_Type_Pepsi asks:

There is this girl from a neighbouring fire brigade. She was on a pumps course with me and I ran into her again at a training session recently. I would like to get to know her but low and behold this drongo doesn’t even get her name -_-‘ I really need to improve on talking and getting a name. I’m not sure how I can “run into her” again. Any tips on making sure you get a contact. I haven’t really been in the dating game, not since school , and only really hooked up at things like UniGames.


Demetrius says:

BTW, you’re the first person that has made me google slang because it was so interesting. You Aussies are a fun bunch, that’s for sure.  Now, on to your question. It sounds less like you need dating advice and more like you need “how do I chat up Sheila I barely know” advice. Don’t worry, I’ll help you chat up this Chickie in no time.

Here’s some advice for your situation, and if you find yourself in similar situations in the future. When you are in a situation where you think you don’t have a reason to run into someone, never wait for that situation to happen. The perfect time and place doesn’t exist until you make it happen. When you hear stories about how couples met, it wasn’t that the perfect situation just happened, it was that one of the people involved seized a good opportunity. So don’t worry if you think that there isn’t a right place or a right time. Make the perfect opportunity happen.

The thing is, you do have a way to “run into her” you’re just hesitant to go through with it. You know where she works, right? So…couldn’t you go to her fire brigade one day and chat her up? Yes, it’ll be a very aggressive move, but if you’re that into her, take a risk. Best case scenario, you go there, ask her out, she’s charmed, you go on a date. Worst case scenario, she’s flattered and refuses, you move on with your life. It might be a bit embarrassing but would you rather be embarrassed or miss a chance for something awesome?

When it comes to improving your dating life in general, getting better about asking for names is a great start. As a rule of thumb, when you meet anyone new, introduce yourself, stating your name first, and ask for their name. Not only is it a good idea to get the names of the people you’re interested in romantically pursuing, it also makes you look more assertive and personable for an outsider’s perspective. Let’s say that during your pumps training you asked for her name, along with anyone else you encountered. Now imagine there was another attractive woman there who just happened to observe you being charming, personable, and genuinely friendly. She’d see all that and would probably be a bit more attracted to you because you’d be displaying an adeptness at socializing, which generally as perceived as an attractive trait. It’s always a good idea to have behaviors that are generally considered attractive be the behaviors you do on a regular basis.

With all that said, remember that no matter what, even if you’re the guy who is friendly and outgoing, it wont be attractive to everyone. It’s just a good idea in general to introduce yourself to people. It’s a VERY GOOD idea to introduce yourself to people you find attractive. The only way to get into the habit of doing it and not being in the situation you’re in now, would be to make it something you do on a regular basis. So try it out. I’m not saying you’ll suddenly become irresistible, but building up your comfort level with strangers makes talking to the next stranger who you might be interested in dating a whole lot easier.

Good Luck Out There.

Demetrius Figueroa

Demetrius is a sex, dating, and relationship writer based in Brooklyn.

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