Swipe Right? Your Online Dating Q and A

You’ve got questions about Online Dating, and lucky for you, I’ve got over ten years of experience online dating that I can apply to your questions. So without further ado, here are answers to your frequently asked online dating questions:

1. Should I be using a dating app?

Are you available to date? If so, then yes! Choosing the right dating app is important. A good rule of thumb when it comes to online dating sites and apps is this: however easy it is to sign up for an app,  that’s how seriously the users of that site will take dating. eHarmony and Match require payment and a lengthy sign-up, so generally more commitment minded folks are on the site. OkCupid and Plenty of Fish sort of fall in the middle between serious and casual, and dating apps like Tinder and Hinge tend to be less serious.

2. What should I put on my profile?

You can read posts of varying detail on the subject of dating profile content and pictures here, here, here, here here, and here. If I had to sum it all up: Be legit, be current with your pictures and content, be sincere, avoid trying to be funny because it rarely translates, leave as many conversation openers on your profile as you can.

3. What’s the best way to get messages?

If you’re a guy, your strategy needs to be focused on quantity. Most sites or apps either have a rating/wink/or like feature to indicate that you’re interested in someone. Sad to say, but you have to spam that feature until you start getting responses. For women, you’ll probably be getting too many messages that are either brief or vulgar, so you’ll spend half of your time weeding through that. Just don’t respond to the people who send one sentence messages or insult you.

4. How long should I wait to meet?

The sooner the better! Be sure to do some basic vetting through chat,text, or phone calls and try to meet as soon as possible. Make sure your meeting is low-key and low pressure by not having months of build up leading to it.

5. Do guys actually use dating sites to find relationships?

Absolutely! I did, and I can think of three or four couples who met on a dating site or app. Dating sites are just a microcosm for real life dating. Some people are looking for something serious, some people just want hook ups.

6. Where should I meet someone once we set up a meeting?

For all your chemistry via text you have to remember that this is still a stranger. Make sure you meet them in a public place before anything else. Even if you’re using dating sites and apps just to hook don’t just show up at their apartment. Let a friend know who you’re meeting and where, just in case. Just a FYI, statistically speaking online dating is no more dangerous than dating in real life.

7. We met on a dating site, are getting serious, but they’re still on the site. What should I do?

Well, if you’re asking it probably bothers you right? If that’s the case, ask them about it. It might be a simple oversight, or it might be that they’re still looking. Either way, be sure to tell them that it bothers, and ask what they plan on doing. This would be a GREAT time to figure out what you both want and if they’re the same or similar things.

The biggest takeaway should be this: Online dating is safe, it can be fun, and you can get what you want out of it….eventually.

Good Luck Out There.

Demetrius Figueroa

Demetrius is a sex, dating, and relationship writer based in Brooklyn.

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