You might suck at dating, but you don’t have to.
Here’s 15 Reasons Why You Suck at Dating (and how to fix them!)
1. You’re too Picky
We can’t all date Chris Hemsworth or Penelope Cruz (btw, they are both married, RESPECT THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE!) so maybe stop holding out for Most Beautiful Person Alive and maybe give Kind-of-Attractive-but-Fun a shot.
2. You’re NOT Picky enough
Just because you’re not holding out for the sexiest person alive does not mean you need to date every schlubby person you meet. At minimum you should want to be in the same room as the people you’re going on dates with.
3. You’re Too Aggressive
No one likes it when you come on too strong. Tone yourself down a bit. If you set a date, no need to follow it up with multiple texts, or confessing that you love this person you just met. Relax! Be Indifferent maybe?
4. You’re Too Passive
Ok, but not TOO Indifferent you know? I know, I know, it’s a thin line but when someone asks “Hey do you want to go out some time” you CANNOT respond “Whatever”. We’re adults now, that teenage apathy crap doesn’t fly anymore
5. You’re Moving Too Fast
To quote (500) Days of Summer:
“Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn’t mean she’s your soul mate.”.
6. You’re Moving Too Slow
This could be two things: Either you take your time with dating because you just move slow in general, OR, you’re stalling because you don’t want a relationship but still want all the benefits of dating a person. Be Upfront with the people you’re dating if you don’t want a relationship or you just want to move slow. Otherwise you’re going to be encountering people who want more than you at a faster pace.
7. You Have Crazy Expectations
Not everyone wants marriage, kids, etc. within 6 months of dating. Put it all in perspective before you start with the craziness.
8. You’re Hung Up On Your Ex
Don’t bring them up, don’t compare them to people, and more importantly, don’t seriously date until you’re over them.
9. You’re Hung Up On “The Rules of Dating”
Maybe you’ve read “Think Like a Man” and thought to yourself that the ideas put forth in that book are good ideas. Or “Why Men love Bitches” or some other Rules of Dating book and you’re strictly adhering to these advice espoused in this books. Please stop. Dating is subjective to each person and while some rules and advice is general, most of it isn’t. Form your own damn dating rules.
10. You’re Terrible at Planning Dates
I know it’s tempting to plan a date at your place with takeout, Netflix, and maybe some lazy sex after you’re bloated off of Fried Wonton’s and General Tso’s. Nothing wrong with that, but it can’t be the ONLY TYPE OF DATE YOU PLAN.
11. You’ve got a Confidence Problem
I’ll skip the Snark here. Just read this post and thank me later.
12. You’re going on Bad Dates
13. You’re Dating TERRIBLE People
Sometimes this isn’t out of your hands. If you like assholes and you go on dates with assholes, you maybe might go on terrible dates. Date nicer people (but not “Nice Guys” because they are terrible).
14. Your conversations are Stagnant
Not everyone starts off as a cunning linguist so I built a list of Conversation Starters for you.
15. You keep taking Dates to the Same places and EVERYONE is Eyeing them knowingly
We’ve all got our favorite bar or restaurant but you can’t take every single date to the same bar. Eventually the waitstaff will recognize you and call you out on it (It’s happened to me and it is not easy to explain away)
…and there you have it. Good Luck out there.