The “Friend Zone” doesn’t exist

I was watching just watching this great video on the Science of the Friend Zone which if you haven’t seen you should definitely go check out now.

While watching I definitely found myself disagreeing with one key thing: The idea that Friend Zone is real.

It isn’t. The Friend Zone doesn’t exist.

Anyone who has ever said that there were put  in the friend zone was simply rejected.  We all get rejected at some point in our lives. Whether that rejection is verbalized, or you’re stood up, or sometimes you just get faded out. It happens all the time, trust me. Whoever is reading this right now, whoever you are in the world, has probably been rejected at least once in their lives.

The trick to dealing with being rejected and being put in the “friendzone” is to understand some things:

  • No one owes you anything just because you find them attractive
  • No one owes you anything just because you’re decent
  • You’ve rejected people before and you will again
  • You’ll be rejected again

If you really think someone put you in the friend zone, and you find it unbearable, guess what: You probably aren’t that good of a friend. You’re not being punished, they’re just not that into you. You think you deserve affection from them because you’re halfway decent? Nah. The fact that you’re griping about the friendzone means that honestly, they were right. If you get rejected and then become passive aggressive, or purposefully start being rude to the person who rejected you, you’re the “asshole guy” that you’re always complaining about.

Why get hung-up on not being able to change someone’s attraction to you? If there is a friend zone (there isn’t) then continuing to dwell on a person who rejected you well after being rejected wont win you any points, or win their attraction to you. The only thing you’re doing is putting yourself in the friend zone by obsessing over someone who isn’t into you.

It isn’t worth it and you should be indifferent to it.

Good Luck Out There.

Demetrius Figueroa

Demetrius is a sex, dating, and relationship writer based in Brooklyn.

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